If I was to write a tour guide this is what I’d have to say about Coniston and the Lake District. “It rains, there are sheep, it rains, the locals can be a bit odd, it rains, and the hailstones are huge”. I can safely say that I won’t be coming back here in any great hurry. Don’t get me wrong the Park Coppice site is huge and scenic but a bit too remote for me. My internet dongle couldn’t pick up a disease in a brothel let alone any service and I was informed on my arrival that the site Wi-Fi wasn’t operational (complaint to the Caravan Club on the horizon). I was keen to visit the Ruskin Museum and see the Donald Campbell exhibition and Bluebird…except that Bluebird isn’t there as it’s still being restored. I had to make do with visiting his grave, seeing some memorabilia and the site where he crashed. I think 6 days here was a bit OTT unless you’re a yomping rambler, like boats or climbing. Me, I was here just to watch a load of lycra clad idiots take part in a 112 mile cycle race. I’ve never been so keen to leave a site and head back to where I came from. Even the caravan with a 3ft high wooden windmill outside complete with little Dutch figures didn’t make me want to stay.
Apologies to anyone of a high moral standing. All I can say in my defence is that my Mother would approve if she were still here, as she thought the sun shone out of His behind so that’s good enough for me.