Ahh Tate Modern – a slight improvement on Tate Britain but it was still astounding as to how much shite passes for Art these days. Some of the rubbish we produced at Art College when a project didn’t inspire us or we left things until the last minute wouldn’t have looked out of place on display today. The guy in the year above me who used to slash and form mattresses into ladies ‘nether regions’ should be a Tate regular. There was one sculpture which did literally appear to be surrounded with what looked to me like piles of dog poo but then what do I know. I love the way the enthusiasts like to gesture wildly about what was going through the Artists mind at the time and what the pile of ‘dross’ is actually meant to represent. Sorry mate but you really don’t have a clue. The Artist was probably out of his or her mind on hallucinogenics or pissed up on cheap cider and throwing paint at a canvas for a laff and now it’s hanging in a major gallery. Oh perlease. To clear my mind I took a leisurely stroll across the non-swaying Millennium Bridge which took me to St Paul’s which was pretty impressive up close.
Believe it or not I am so in love with this site that I have booked to come here for Crapmas. Yes I’m well aware it’s only April but needs must. In the meantime I need to adopt a bizarre painting style and start wacking some acrylic onto canvas, calling it art and selling it to tourists at a highly inflated rate. My state of mind for future reference will be ‘whilst being driven to the point of distraction by Dementia Dog’ just in case I achieve fame – when I’m dead of course. On a serious note I must get my window replaced/leaking sink fixed/water heater fixed/leaking shower fixed as I would like to spend my 2nd summer/winter in this van with running water and maybe even hot running water……ooooh the excitement is overwhelming.